Edward Joseph Anderson, Sr. “Ed” Born 05/11/1970 & 

Murdered/Killed by hospital homicide on 09/27/2021

Preface:  I am doing my best to recollect every single little detail of what occurred when they were in the process of murdering my husband. But please know, I still live so deeply in heart wrenching grief, agony, loneliness, emptiness, and a slew of other adjectives that I could use to describe the unstoppable pain that I feel each day since they murdered my husband that it is very difficult for me to sometimes to remember things. 

Our Love Story:

I first saw Ed in the spring of 2001.  He was coaching T-Ball and my son (in the youngest group), and his eldest son (in the eldest group) of the team he coached.  I immediately fell in love with the most handsome man I ever saw, I adored the way he coached those kids, his demeanor, his love for the children, the game and the community. I even stated to my then Fiancé’s sister “I am going to marry that man someday”.  We met thru T-Ball, serving on the board and immediately hit it off.  We were two peas in a pod.  He, almost divorced, me still engaged to the father (very abusive man) of my children. He begged me then to leave my fiancé, me and kids move in with him, and we would be a family, but I just could not bring myself to leave my children’s father yet. 

Ed and I continued to see each other as frequently and discreetly as possible whenever we could.  I would ultimately marry my abuser in 2005, thinking he was going to change for our kids/me and I was doing the right thing for our kids (hindsight, I was wrong).  I lost many years of potentially being with Ed trying to make an abusive relationship/marriage work. The entire time, Ed and I maintained a very close (discreet) friendship, romance, we had an undeniable love for one another even back then. When we were together, there was no denying in how much we were in love, although we tried to hide it at community and sporting events, everyone who knew us knew we were in love.  This would go on for years! 

Finally in 2011, I left my abusive husband.  He would continue to stalk me.  Ed and I continued our relationship, Ed was very skeptical because I tried to leave my X four (4) other times and each time I went back because he promised he would change blah blah blah.  This time was different, I could no longer be abused, emotionally and physically and I had to break the cycle for our kids, and I left him and moved into an apartment across our community.

In 2012, Ed and I became an “official” item (or so I thought), our relationship continued and eventually in January 2013, I gave up my apartment to move in with Ed finally despite numerous asks by him. We were so happy, so, so, so deeply in love… each day our love grew stronger.  In late June of 2013, he would be summoned to take a DNA test and ultimately found out he had another child.  This did not rock our relationship, yet we embraced it together and said we would get thru it together.  Knowing what this meant for our future of retiring early and all the plans we had.  Life was still great, we had so much fun together, we worked hard, we played hard, we traveled as much as we could afford too, we raised my daughter and his eldest son (youngest son was consistently kept from my husband)!  We had a relationship that only a handful of people get to experience in a lifetime, we loved each other so deeply it emulated outside of our bodies.  In 2014, after years of begging my X husband to divorce me via mutual agreement/mediator (I wanted nothing but a divorce), he refused from 2011 up until 2014. Therefore, I filed for divorce in July 2014, and despite his consistent delays, we were finally divorced July 31, 2015. Ed and I could not wait to get married and talked about it frequently.  We would finally elope during our annual vacation to the Keys (or favorite place) in the fall of 2015 (11-01-2015 “Best Day Ever”) !!!  Again, each day together, we grew stronger and even more deeper in love.  In 2016, we would host 268 friends and family in our backyard to celebrate our marriage and our love for one another!  “2nd Best Day Ever”!  Our friends, family and community knew for years how much we loved each other. 

In 2017, we purchased his family home, and both worked Full Time, while remodeling the entire upstairs.  Ed and I would write sweet love notes to each other in addition to text each other all day everyday while working or if apart (which was very rare). He would stop by the house to steal a kiss and hug during the workday. We just could NOT enough of each other. We truly became ONE (1) person.  If we were not working, we were ALWAYS together.  This was how we were our entire 20 years we knew each other!  We were never far away from each other except the week he would go hunting in PA with his hunting club, and even then, he would text all day, and call several times a day when he had service or would go to town (20 miles off the mountain) just to hear my voice.  An amazing relationship, love story we had, and the government and Inspira Medical Center Elmer, NJ stole that from me by murdering my husband.

In 2018, 2019, and 2020 – We continued to love each other so deeply, our love continued to grow stronger each and every day. No obstacle could break us, they just made our love stronger.  We took great care of each other.  He had to have a neck surgery due to a work injury and me had to have a total hysterectomy due to cancer.  We got thru it together.  I am supposed to have extensive back surgery but will likely never be able to have it because the government and Inspira Medical Center Elmer, NJ murdered my caregiver. Even more pain I will have to endure the rest of my life because of them.

Summer 2020, we began remodeling our basement because we had water in our basement due to a tropical depression.  We would work on those evenings, weekends, all while still trying to spend time with our “pod” of family and so-called friends.  The remodeling of our basement was almost completed when the government protocol and hospital murdered him. 

Our deep love and connection emulates from every single picture of he and I together.  I was so proud to be his wife and he was soo proud to be my husband, he always bragged to everyone about how much he loved me, as I did about him to friends, family and strangers alike!  We were soulmates, we were destined for each other, we were perfect for each other in every single way; we had a PERFECT LOVE.  Absolutely perfect, and our greedy government, and a health organization that we trusted stole him from me by MURDERING him.  He was the love of my life, my everything, my world, my purpose, he and his physical and emotional love for me made me whole, made my life worth living again, after living in HELL with abuse for years and years.  He brought the love, life and light back into me, my soul and my heart, and THEY stole all of that from me and they also stole my future with the person I loved the most in this world.  I am a shell without him, I “live” because I am forced too. Each day I “live” in such agonizing grief, physical pain because the loss of him hurts so bad.  I either sleep to much or cannot sleep.  The grief they have caused me has also affected my overall health and mental wellbeing.  I am no longer “me” anymore, they not only murdered my husband, but they also killed a once healthy happy “me”!   

Our COVID Journey (Part 1):

As COVID protocols, restrictions and mandates rattled the country and our cozy community (Franklinville, NJ) my beautiful, amazing, healthy husband and I stayed pretty put with our own families, and close friends that got together for dinners, bonfires and we all hung out and most of us worked together or watched each other’s children.  We were the “Anchor’s Patio and Bar Pod”.  The entire group was also exposed to “others” outside our pod due to working and family commitments. Fast forward to late 2020, we were enjoying camping, dining, bar hopping, beach, traveling again, hosting large gatherings in our backyard and sooo many other activities we loved to do with each other.  Also, during this time entire time my husband, nor I or anyone we knew EVER got COVID.

September 11, 2021, we hosted a large gathering of friends/family in our yard for our 20th+ annual Horseshoe Tournament and 9/11 Memorial reflection.  We had approximately 150 people in our gorgeous backyard (Ed took such pride in) including tents to sit under and a food tent.  The following week we were business as usual, working our full-time jobs and so in love with each other spending every moment outside of work together.

Where Edward got COVID:

The evening of Thursday, September 16, 2021 was one of Eds regular short evening parenting visit with his 8-year-old Son Luke (Fratto).  Ed was in the fight of his life (or so he thought), working with a lawyer to try to get 50/50 custody of his son, who was created from a one-day stand with a woman that Ed barely knew and he consistently regretted that action, but wanted to be a great father (again) and raise his son. She already had a total of 3 children, 3 different fathers and lived at home with her Adoptive parents. Ed was not even aware of the child until after he was born and was asked to take a DNA test, along with other numerous potential “baby daddy” candidates. Ms. Sara Fratto did not make things easy for Ed being the father he so badly wanted to be.  This battle ensued for 8 years up to Ed’s murder. The only reason I bring this up is because 9/16/21 was Ed’s evening.  His mother called and stated that Luke had COVID and did Ed want to take him anyway, she (as always) refused to grant us another makeup day and since she was constantly playing games, lying and attempting to keep his son from him, Ed allowed Luke into our home even though he was positive for COVID. Ed, Luke and I all snuggled on the couch with a sick Luke to ensure he felt loved and safe despite him being sick. We could NOT distance us from his child who we BOTH loved and adored. Again, Ed (and I) only allowed this because he only was able to see his son 6 hours (2 – 3 hour evenings) and every other weekend. Even the day before Ed’s hospitalization for COVID, Ed had a court meeting regarding custody and Ed felt like death but still pushed thru it with his attorney having to stick up for his lethargies to the judge. If it were not for Ms. Fratto doing everything in her power to keep a loving willing father from his son, allowing switch days etc. to accommodate for sickness or events, we would have changed days and my husband would not have gotten COVID from his son, ultimately sending Ed to the hospital where those we trusted, instead MURDERED him. 

Our COVID Journey (Part 2 ): 

On Saturday, September 18,2021, Ed (and I) both started feeling ill. Since it was the weekend and we both were not working, we spent the weekend in bed, relaxing, sleeping, and staying hydrated. Ed was running high fevers all weekend, me not so much. Ed was sleeping about ¾ of the day.  He only woke in increments to drink fluids, use bathroom etc. and sometimes I even had to wake him to do that.  Remember, I was also ill, but not as ill.  Monday, September 21, 2021, again Ed was very ill and somewhat lethargic, but still managed to get thru the hour-long court hearing for his son and again, all he did was sleep on and off, with me waking him to drink fluids and use restroom. 

On Tuesday, September 22, 2021, I could tell something was “off” with my husband.  My normally bright faced happy man had become so pale, almost a slate bluish gray.  I asked him how he was feeling, and he said, “like death”. I could tell he was struggling a little bit to get air. Therefore, I call a friend (RN) with a Pulse Oximeter, and she ran it over to us right away and dumped and ran so she was not exposed to COVID. I tool my Pulse Ox and I was 91%, I took Ed’s, and he was 64%.  I did this several times.  I could not get him to read above 68%.  I knew he needed oxygen and I knew he needed it sooner than later, I spoke with a nurse friend and spoke with a former friend who was an EMT and they both urged me to get him to the hospital as fast as I could. 

Ed and I were both hesitant about the hospital and normally, I would get a little push back from my beloved Ed on emergency situations, and this time he did not fight me.  Since the closest hospital was about 8 minutes away, we went there, which was Elmer Hospital – “Inspira Hospital Group” – a large for-profit hospital group based in Southern Rural Southern NJ in Salem County New Jersey.  Ed’s brother in law received care for COVID from there a and lived. Ed and I trusted that hospital, as it was always our go-to, if either of us (or family) were seriously ill. We left our house, unsure of the time (I believe early afternoon) to head to the Elmer Emergency Room.  When we arrived, I asked him if he wanted me to drop him off at the door or if he wanted to walk from the car with me, and he stated “I will walk in here, and I will walk out of here”.  He trusted this rural community hospital/organization. 

As we walked into the entrance of the Emergency Room, security and the intake nurses greeted us, the first thing they asked us was if we were vaccinated or not.  Since neither of us are liars, and his care could be potentially based on vaccinated status or not we told them the truth.  From that moment on, we were left to feel like we were second class citizens so to speak.  Derogatory statements were mumbled consistently. I do not recall what his pulse ox was upon arrival or fever (I do have what I hope are his complete records). He was immediately brought back to an ER Bed, and at this point I was allowed to go with him.  They began oxygen, did a COVID test, took him for a chest x ray, and put the oximeter on his finger for constant o2 readings. They did not give him any IV fluids, just told him to drink (I feel he was dehydrated as he had significant diarrhea at home). They immediately gave him and I numerous papers and electronic forms to sign, with ABSOLUTELY NO TIME to review, nor did ANYONE explain the forms to us, or even ask too, they did not explain anything to us of us of what was happening, what the potential treatment plan was.  I did mention NUMEROUS times, I did not want them to give him Remdesivir or ANY of the “protocol meds”, and to give him oxygen and fluids only and absolutely NO VENT. I was able to sit with him in the ER for about an hour or two, then they stated were keeping my sweet husband and I cried, and I cried because I knew what that meant.  That meant he had a 50/50 chance of making it out of that place alive. I remember sitting there telling him how hard he had to fight, how hard he had to pay attention to what they were doing to him, that he had to ask questions, to have them call me as he does not have a medical background and I do. I feel like I almost blacked out because I was so upset and so scared for my husband. I had no clue that when they wheeled him out of the emergency room to ICU and they made me leave, that was the last time I would physically hug and kiss him (alive).   

I was NOT allowed in the hospital to visit or be his “physical” advocate, offer consistent physical love and emotional support because of these ridiculous “protocols” for COVID patients. These protocols knowingly and purposefully and illegally alienated patients from their loved ones, causing less than adequate treatment, mistreatment, or non-treatment.  I would have stayed at that hospital the entire time do be his 24/7 advocate, watch what was going on and offer my endless love and support to the person that meant the world to me. I know for a fact, if I had been there, he would have survived.  It’s crazy that I too had COVID and was able to sit inside the emergency room with him for a few hours, walk around down there, but I could NOT be with him in an Isolation room with glass closed doors and a private bathroom?  Makes absolutely no sense to me, just another reason why I believe they wanted to hide what they were doing to him (and the millions of other folks) they murdered with this protocol.

His first day there, he was cognitive, able to speak to me via face time a few times a day.  As for updates on what was going on and his condition, I had to call (always), wait for someone to possibly call me back.  I continuously called (each day) and they rarely initiated calls to me with updates, I was always the one to initiate. The details of the calls with the staff are so blurry, due to my constant grief.   The details of the calls with my husband are somewhat blurry, but I do recall him telling me that they hardly came in and checked on him (likely because he was not vaccinated and as I stated in the beginning, I felt as though he was treated differently (negatively) because of that).  They did not keep a continuous IV on him to keep him hydrated, they had him alternate between the BiPap and Cpap and each day he progressively got worse, and that was from the Protocol cocktail they gave him without our consent.  I vividly recall a conversation with the attending MD “Hassain” or something like that to please, please give him Ivermectin and/or Hydroxychloroquine (?). He adamantly refused to do that stating, “it’s not our protocol”!!!  I know during the course of my husband being there, I also asked them to give him Mucinex, Zinc, Vit D & Vit C., and of course they did NOT because the government knew these drugs also helped, yet they continued killing innocent healthy folks with “their protocol = $$$$”), they also knowingly, purposefully and illegally alienated sick patients from loving family members so they (I) could NOT advocate for (him) their care.  A MASS GENOCIDE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS!!!!   

I do recall, early in his stay my husband asked if I could bring his favorite pillow in, as it would make him more comfortable with the positions they were putting him in for better oxygen flow and to conserve oxygen.  I was able to bring that into the hospital, walk up into ICU and was able to wave to my husband, but not allowed into isolation with him – absolutely ridiculous and criminal!  It broke my heart, and it still does that I was NOT by his side, and they ultimately murdered him and left him to suffer the entire 6 days ALONE, intentionally and purposefully isolated from those who loved him the most. His wife, his bonus daughter and his eldest son. 

So again, each day he was at this murderous organization (that we trusted to care for him), he progressively got worse, and worse and worse. The staff began limiting him to maybe one FaceTime call each day (this was around day 2 ½), stating it was to conserve his oxygen (he was on Cpap/Bipap – alternating) although my husband and I would still text when he was awake and strong enough to do so.  I have not had the ability to read thru our texts while he was there (or any prior to his admission and ultimate murder), because the loss of him to this day has me so shattered and grieving so deeply, that everything cuts through my heart and soul.  So again, as they were limiting his communication with me, they begin limiting theirs to me even more. I (and my husband) was trusting that they really were trying to make him better, I tried not to bother them too much, but they rarely, if ever called me unless I called and got someone or initiated a call back.  How badly he was mistreated while under their malicious care, I will never really know, because I was unlawfully kept from my husband’s bedside, not allowed to advocate for him and could not be there to offer my consistent love and support. If I had been able to do so, I know my healthy husband would not have been murdered. 

Less than 24 hours before his murder (09/26/2021):

Since he was so much worse and it was evident that they were not making him better and I really felt like I could not trust them any longer, I made several calls to the hospital asking him to transfer him to a larger more equipped hospital (different Hospital Organization) and they adamantly refused to do so. I told them, all they were doing was making him sicker and sicker and that they were in essence killing him.  They kept telling me he would die enroute to another hospital.  I called several other nurse friends and asked their opinions and they stated to push and push for them to move him, and they consistently refused. I kept asking for them to please get him the Ivermectin and the Hydroxychloroquine (?) and again, they adamantly refused what I knew would save my husbands life. What was the harm in “trying” something, because they already had weakened him so badly.  What? Were they afraid that the medications known to treat COVID effectively would have my beloved husband bounce back?  Nope, they would not have that, would not even allow it or do what we adamantly asked for all along during his 6 days in this murderous institution with murderers for caregivers. It was like this doctor and this organization had a bounty on my husband’s head and they wanted to ensure THEY received all the monies from my husband’s health insurance and the government reimbursements for COVID.  Their conversations with me throughout the day were that he was very, very ill and that they were assuring me that they were doing everything they could to make him better, and it would be a few days for him to feel better (but assured me he would), I (and my husband) continued to trust them when essence we really should not have.

The day of his murder 09/27/2021):

After the call the evening/afternoon before (9/26/21) with several of the hospital staff (Nurse Manager and Doctor), were they assured me that Ed would be just fine, he was young and healthy. I felt confident that they were really doing everything they could (as that is how they conveyed and sugar-coated untruths to me on the phone).  That was until I got a call in the middle of the night, that he had taken a turn and needed to be vented “to rest his lungs” and “after a few days he would be able to come off the vent”.  I recall this was at about 3:45/4:00 AM (I believe), details of the call are blurry due to my agonizing grief, crying and I recall saying you will not vent him. Even a nurse in his care that AM, was a longtime family friend, we even attended their wedding (who has since disappeared), stated that he would be just fine.  WE TRUSTED THEM!  I stated that I needed to speak to him via FaceTime.  They kept assuring me that this would be best for him despite neither of us wanting him to be vented (which WE kept adamantly stating), they assured us enough to “talk us into it” by lying to us.  They also did not explain any risks involved, and there were no details given to either of us about the process and what to expect or be aware of. They totally lied and stated they had done this a lot and that he would be “ok”, which ultimately, he was not. The call at around 4:30 AM was the Doctor (I could tell by his tone, (and had a horrible feeling, something was wrong), I ran downstairs to the basement to get my adult bonus son (who had traveled up from TN where he resided, because his Dad was ill) to hear what they said, and all I recall was that they said “he gone”, “his blood pressure went so low, he went into cardiac arrest while they were attempting to put him on the vent, they could not bring him back, they were so sorry”. 

It was in that very moment, everything went dark…. I felt my life, my soul and my entire world was sucked from me, it felt like my heart was ripped to shreds with a butcher knife, my world, my life stopped and I literally collapsed. 

I don’t remember anything more about the conversation with the hospital. 

After they murdered my husband 9/27/2021:

Somehow, someway I pulled myself together because of our kids and our friends.  As my husband always said I was the strongest one.  I went into a “survival mode” I guess you could say. Finally, my daughter (who was 16 weeks pregnant with their first child) and her husband arrived from their home. I had her contacting appropriate people for me, our work, our closest family and friends and within minutes they all flocked to our house.  I do not recall very much except friends and family constantly being at my house for days and weeks on end and never being alone. Our best friend Chrissy, Tina, my best girlfriends Wendy G., Kim F., Kim G., Doreen, Courtney, Melissa H., and so many more were at my house within minutes. It is all a blur to me, our children, close friends and family just kept me “going”.  I managed with the help of my daughter & my friends to get everything done I needed to do. Although, this was all a blur, I don’t recall many details.  Not only was I mourning the murder of my husband, so were our children, our closest friends and now the community Ed loved so dear.  Even surrounding communities mourned the loss of my dear husband.  Everyone was as shocked as I still am that they murdered him. 

The morning of his murder, our children and I were allowed to see him in ICU -- DEAD when we picked up his belongings.  This makes no sense that none of his closest family was allowed into ISOLATION WITH HIM.  It is criminal what they did to him and to us. Forcefully kept him isolated from those that would have advocated for his health, but instead, did not allow me to be there so they could do whatever they wanted to do, without any of us knowing or any accountability for their negligent actions. 

We held appropriate parties before, during and after his services that he would have wanted. He wanted to go out like his dad and with a big party… I did my best!  His viewing on Friday evening and on Saturday had so many people, the line was wrapped around the blocks in the tiny town of Clayton, NJ where the closest funeral home is. On the final day of his celebration of life which was Saturday October 2, 2021 folks in our community and surrounding communities planned Ed’s final trip to work, past our township recreation fields and one last drive past our home all escorted by his DPW work truck, with his safety clothing and hat on the passenger seat (although he normally was the driver), other vehicle from his DPW, our Townships Police Force, all the Fire Stations in our 5,000 SQ Mile Rural community represented, other emergency vehicles, and other municipalities joined in the procession.  After Ed got to pass our home one last time, they then took my world to the crematory.  Then a very sad few hundred people of family and friends celebrated the life of my amazing husband at our amazing house and yard.  He was soo amazing and so loved by so many, especially me!  We had bands, lots of food and his favorite beverage besides Milk, lots of “Busch Lite” was consumed in his honor.  We had bands, DJs, Karaoke, a horseshoe tourney, cornhole and I (with the help of so many) did everything I could do to ensure we celebrated his life appropriately and how he would want us too. Everyone came together and we all celebrated this man with so much love. Even Ms. Fratto promised that she would NOT take Luke from the family as she stated she witnessed and realized how much he was loved and how much he loved being with our family, but she did anyway and none of us have seen or heard from him since 10/02/2021. Once all our family and friends went back to their “lives”, and I was now sentenced to a life of pure emptiness, darkness, loneliness, grief, anxiety, mental anguish and guilt. My Husband deserved to LIVE and grow old with me.  They stole him from me, and took me to in the process. 

The aftermath & grief:

My eldest bonus son (27) and his adult cousins attempted to take items from my (our) pole barn that were brand new and in boxes, nothing of relevant sentimental value and got caught.  They specifically waited until I left to take my brother-in-law, sister-in-law and their family to the airport.  An entire situation ensued, that could have been avoided if they had not “stolen” from me.  The “kids” ran their mouths to anyone who would listen to whatever they spewed. Everyone is grieving, I get that, it still does not give you the right to steal, I know his father taught him right from wrong.  Since my husband passed without a will, his Estate needs to be settled. I as his wife am the one to initiate that and I too needed to be ready to do so.  What it boils down to is those I thought Ed and I were “close to”, we really were not.  They overlooked the fact that I am his wife, we had verbal plans god forbid life throw this wrench in our faces”.  These adults, these so-called friends, have no right in what our “plans” were in this situation. Never did we think one of us would die so young (51) and need to have a will in place.  We always talked about how he had to die first, because I was the “strong one”. We discussed what we wanted for each other and for our legacy.  They have no right to tell me what to do with MY HUSBANDS THINGS.  I do not need to give anything to anyone until my husband’s Estate is settled, if even then. I AM HIS WIFE!  They all have NO right in getting into our family business, even starting a movement called “teameddiejr, spewing hate towards me all over FB and social media because I would not give my eldest stepson his father’s truck or allow him to steal from me.  A bold childish move by folks that are supposed to be adults and parents. Their lives are stealthy focused on drinking and drama, and I am so glad they are gone from my life. I pray that they go thru all of this hell and even worse at some point in their lives. I let it consume me for a little bit along with the grief, and I could only focus on myself and not others so therefore, I cut them all off my social media, blocked them in every aspect of life except sending me a snail mail.  Even my eldest stepson’s girlfriends mother sent me a nasty message thru Facebook. Never met her a day in my life nor did my beloved husband, and we only met her daughter (my eldest stepson’s girlfriend 3 times, they had only been dating for about 8 months, absolutely NO WAY have ANY SAY in me and MY husband’s business.  People’s true colors sure do shine thru in the loss of a loved one. 

My grief is agonizing each day, the thoughts and personal hell I have endured for almost 18 months (at the time of me writing this).  I still cry every single day.  The loneliness, emptiness, the heartache and the physical and mental anguish of losing your entire world never goes away. You don’t learn to live with it, you’re forced to continue to “live” with it.  It is truly heartbreaking, heart wrenching, and until you experience such a great loss yourself, you’ll never be able to fathom the pain… the unwillingness to face another day without your person, the fact that you continue to wake up each day when you beg god not too, and live in a personal hell each and every single day. 

Everything you knew in your life that you loved is taken away from you in an instant and you can’t change it, you can’t stop it from happening.  Imagine if you dare, taking your husband to the hospital where you think he’s going to get better, but they make him sicker, and he dies in less than 6 days?  You can’t be there to be an advocate because of COVID protocols, and the government unlawfully alienating patients from their families against their wishes and will, and my husband is murdered because I could not advocate for him.  No warning, no long illness, no knowledge this is going to happen, no time to say goodbye, no final conversation, just gone!!!!!

My entire whole life that we built together, my future everything I have known for more almost half my life is gone and I have been given a new one that I never asked for, nor wanted being forced to “live” in, and it and it is something I hate to do every minute of every single day. The one person that could comfort me is gone, I am constantly alone inside my head and even when physically even surrounded by loved ones, people think your strong and can do it, well what a disappointment that is because I am trying, but I am stuck.

I am in a familiar place with constant reminders of the life I once had and my whole body aches, inside is a jumble your scared of life but forced to live it cause that’s what people want you to do.  I was once loved so unconditionally by a soul mate 2 people living as 1, as a WE, but now it’s just me and I don’t know really who the “me” is anymore.

The guilts of the “what ifs” haunt me daily!  I live with the guilt day in and day out for taking him to the hospital, for feeling like I should have pushed harder to be in there with my husband, or I should have pulled him out of the hospital, or I should have made them attempt to move him sooner, or I should have called them all day, every single day and annoyed the piss out of them, or I should have pushed the hospital harder.  The list of should haves go on and on and it kills me slowly each day, because an organization we trusted to make him better ended up MURDERING my husband! 

Each day, I grieve for the love I have lost, I grieve for the life I have lost, I grieve for the person I loved more than anything in this world, I grieve for the person I was, I grieve for the future I no longer have.  This is my life for the next 30/35 years.  I live in pure darkness, loneliness and emptiness, no guiding hand to hold, no one to cuddle, because my person is gone, and I am now all alone.  I am an adult in a world I don’t want to be in, in a life I don’t want to be part of the pain is too much and it grows harder every day!!! Minutes can feel like hours, your stomach turns and you can’t breathe, you feel like you’re going to throw up, you have explosive bowel issues, your heart physically hurts. 

Each day my mind wonders back to normal things like the last meal I had with him, the last time we made love, the last holiday, the last camping trip, the last time we came to the Keys (our happy place), the last Saturday night, the last shopping trip, the last birthday, the last anniversary, the last Christmas.  I never knew it would be the last of anything we would ever share.  The story of your life is over and this is not the ending you wanted or imagined. 

Each day when I’m out and about killing time.  Then I am forced to come home to a place that no longer feels like home cause my person is not there. 

💔 My heart, my body, my mind and my complete soul craves him each day, all day💔

Just a short list of what I am missing in my soulmate each and everyday:

💔Hearing I love you, saying it back and meaning it from the depths of my soul

💔Good morning beautiful texts

💔Multiple visits of you stopping home daily to “steal” kisses

💔Waking up being snuggled, held and comforted by my soulmate

💔Long goodbye kisses and hugs before you’d leave for work, or anywhere for that matter

💔Going to sleep nestled in the arms of my soulmate

💔The feel of his skin touching mine

💔His amazing kisses

💔His strong hugs that took the weight of the world or bad day away

💔His beautiful green eyes gazing into mine

💔Staying up all night, dancing in the kitchen over and over to our wedding song and songs that meant so much to us as a couple

💔 Sitting up talking all night

💔Staying in bed all the next day, napping and wrapped up in each other

💔Sunday Chinese takeout because if I get out of this bed to cook “he’s gonna carry me back to it and tie me down”!

💔Trips for our favorite meals at the Texas Roadhouse & Franklinville Inn

💔My forever happy hour date

💔My forever, “I’ll meet you wherever you are with the girls when I’m done” guy

💔My forever watch the Eagles, PHillies and Flyers partner in our home bar (or go out) and to go to games together and enjoy every second of it TOGETHER 

💔My forever wedding date 

💔My Mr. Fix it

💔My travel partner!  I’d say wanna go here, go there?  He’d say “book it dano”!  So glad we traveled and did so much because all I have are these memories now

💔The person I did EVERYTHING with

💔The list of the things I miss about my beloved husband, and our amazing relationship and marriage are endless, and they go and on and on💔

Being so madly, deeply, physically, emotionally and completely in love with someone is the most amazing gift… But the grief of losing that person to murder, is earth shattering and it just sucks. 💔

Our Children’s Stories from my perspective:

Our “my” Daughter (Sara):   

Because of my deep grief, I was unable to be the mother my pregnant daughter wanted me to be to support her during her pregnancy and after, even know sometimes.  While she is an adult, and married and should be fully capable on her own, a daughter always needs her mother, and I am sometimes in no place mentally to be that. I understood she too was grieving for her Bonus Dad, the man that was more of a father to her than her biological one.  I know her loss and grief should be acknowledged, and I do, but I am just too lost in myself and my own grief to be helpful to anyone else. Ed was so excited when she and her husband shared the news of their pregnancy.  Sara still has the video, and we enjoy seeing the excitement in this video. Arya will never be able to meet her grandfather, and a child that will grow up without her young grandparent.

Our “his” Eldest Son (Ed Jr.):

It is because of HIS actions; I really do not know how he feels. It is not that I don’t care about him, or not love him, because I have loved this child like my own for years and helped him along the way so many times, even butting heads.  We were in a great place until his Dad passed and his so called girlfriend was around. None of our immediate friends or family liked her.  She showed her true colors and so did her mother.  They again, need to mind their business and stay out of our family business. It is because of her and him stealing from me, that we no longer have a relationship.  I have been told he now has a child with this woman, another grandchild Ed will never get to meet, and a child that will grow up without his/her young grandparent.

Our “his” son (Luke):

Luke has ample memories with his father and at some point, in time, I will give him all the documentation and costs associated to fight for equal custody of Ed’s son. I generally was the one paying the attorney bill, because I made significant more money than my husband.  It was the right thing to do, and no FATHER SHOULD EVER HAVE TO FIGHT for equal custody from the mother.  Not at all. Ed fought to be a father to Luke equally up till he was murdered by government protocol and Inspira Medical Center, Elmer.  Luke will go thru life without his father. Luke will graduate Elementary school, Middle School, High School, College, relationships, marriage, having children and Luke will NOT have his father by his physical side while he makes all these amazing milestones in his life because his father was murdered by government protocol and Inspira Medical Center, Elmer. 

Our Families Stories:

Our Community:

Ed was a pillar in the community he loved and served for almost his entire lifetime.  e was well known, extremely well liked and loved, he always greeted you with a smile, strong handshake that would almost break your hand or a nice strong hug.  He assisted with the township community tirelessly for YEARS, even as he was in the hospital being slowly murdered alone without me their to advocate, he was directing folks on what needed to be done. He would go out of his way to ensure anything you asked of him was done.  He coached Baseball, Soccer, Wrestling, ran the chain gang at Delsea High School for many years. 

At the 2022 Delsea Football Homecoming game, my husband was inducted into the Delsea Athletic Hall of Fame for his contributions to their programs. 

Our Friends Stories:

“I have known Tracy for over 30 years. Although I had only been around Ed a few times, I can say that I have never seen Tracy happier than she was when Ed entered her life.  To lose him the way she did was heartbreaking, and when he passed a part of her died too. She lost some of the spark that made her who she is.  Even though we live miles apart, I know her well enough to know a piece of her is missing.”  (Tracy Albanese)

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“I met Ed Anderson through Tracy File (now Anderson) and instantly became friends with Ed. We have attended events and vacationed with Ed and Tracy. When we received that dreaded phone call that Ed had passed, it devastated the wife and I. Ed was always there to lend a helping hand to anyone in need of assistance. Ed was very close to us. As much as we have endured Ed’s passing, we see and live with what it has done to Tracy and Sara. Their whole world has been taken away from them. We see how Tracy’s health (physically and emotionally) has been affected, not for the good! Tracy has lost the man that was her world, her everything. That is not right!” 

– Ross & Joellyn Lazarek

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“We met Ed and Tracy about four years ago on a cruise. The love they shared was very strong and is something that was obvious to all who spent any time with them. The passing of Ed was something that was obviously hard on all who knew him, the most was Tracy who lost someone she loved and most importantly cherished every day! Their love was something to truly admire from far away and up close. Their love for their friends was obvious to all, as well as many friends are jealous of their love and the devotion, they shared to each other. 

Our friendship continued when a mutual favorite band was playing as a fundraiser at a firehouse in their community. We were invited to attend and although it was a distance, we went. Here we saw the admiration so many people had for Ed. We hardly saw him as he was busy working and socializing making sure everyone enjoyed their time.

That night we were invited back to Ed and Tracy’s home. Ed was so proud of his home as it was in the family for generations. He and Tracy put a lot of work and sweat into that house to make it a home for their blended family. Ed was so generous inviting us back and we now got a chance once again to chat with him and see the amazing friend, father, husband he was.

Ed is missed by those whom he treated well and likewise those of us who know his love for Tracy is unyielding and forever. Although we did not know Ed as long as some, we absolutely know the love he and Tracy had for each other.

We recently visited with Tracy in her new Florida home. Traces of Ed are everywhere. She revels in his memories. Signs of him are everywhere. Tracy misses her husband and her best friend. She puts on a smile in public, but it is obvious her life is no longer complete. Our wish is for her to be able to make the best of her life now. Grief never ends- it just takes on another form.” -  Anonymous 

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“Ed Anderson was such a great guy. Always happy, smiling and making you laugh. A wonderful husband father and friend to sooo many. It was like having another huge family. He was very kind and generous to people. Also, to many organizations, schools the list could go on and on; he was a very giving person with his hard-earned money.

He and Tracy would have many get togethers, and he was welcoming to everyone of all ages.  Just like a pleasant home away from home, plenty of activities and food. Always a good, fun time and friend to be around. Lucky for me I am friends with his loving wife and daughter, that is how we met. 

It was devastating to so many to lose him. It hit so hard when he left this world. But I always try to stay positive and giving as he was. I have no doubt he is up in heaven looking down and still looking out for others. God got another angel, and we have another guardian angel.

Tracy has lost her soul mate, the love of her life. They were meant to be together forever. It almost seems like she lost half her heart and soul. Her life is forever changed. The grief is stressful and is a daily struggle affecting her mental and physical health.” – Gwenn Yacovelli

"I remember the time I met Ed, many years ago, I knew about him before I actually met him in person. You just knew he was a great guy. He was that guy who would do anything for you if you asked, or Tracy would volunteer him to help you out. No matter if it was a small task or a big job. One of many memories was the Chinese fire drill just driving down the road. We (truck load of Tracy's gfs) told him to stop, and we all ran around his truck, giggling laughing and having fun. We still laugh about it to this day. Yes, Ed and all of "the girls". You never heard he complained about us being around with all of other Shenanigans & we had a lot. Ed and Tracy's house was always open to all. Knowing Tracy for almost 30 years, this is the hardest thing Tracy had to endure in her life. Tracy losing Ed to COVID, while he was in the hospital, forced to the sidelines and at the mercy of the Drs, Nurses and all the others responsible for his care, waiting for phone call updates that usually didn’t happen, that she had to initiate, and for her not to be able to visit and advocate for him the entire time was heart wrenching and has also devastated her.  He was her beloved husband, her longtime partner and soulmate.  Ed was Tracy's whole entire world as she was his. They had a connection that could not be denied from day one. Tracy is not the same without her amazing husband.  She has physically and mentally changed for the worse, her heart is forever broken. Her health has deteriorated and witnessing this firsthand as one of my best friends endure and cope with such an unsurmountable loss has taken a toll on me as well.  Ed is truly missed by all; he touched my heart and any person he met along the way. He was taken way too soon from his wife, his kids and his friends. I along with anyone who knew him misses him deeply too."  - Kim Francis

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“Eddie Anderson was more than just a guy that worked hard and loved even harder. He had a smile that could light up the entire town. Eddie would do anything for anyone no matter the time or situation. He was the most caring and giving person I knew. Eddie was a family friend that I knew for over 30 years and is sadly missed. 

When Tracy finally got to live her life with him, she was the happiest of all the years I’ve known her. The two of them were inseparable. Always smiling and happy and welcoming all family and friends to their home and events.  Tracy lost herself when she lost Ed, and my heart truly hurts for her. She has lost her soulmate and best friend and is only waiting until the day they see each other again.” – Missy Haas -Valerio

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“Ed Anderson impacted me as a friend in so many ways. He was a kind and generous man and was always there to help if you needed it. He would do anything for anyone if you asked.  He was a hardworking man and dedicated to his job. He loved his wife so very much, kids and would do anything for them to support them. He didn’t like conflict.    

It has made me think, that could be any one of us. We used to go over to their home almost every weekend and hang out, cook out, have some drinks, play board and card games, and just talk for hours. I miss that. Life just isn’t the same without him here. We are all just going through the motions and trying to live on without our best friend. 

His family has been affected greatly by this unsurmountable loss. His wife Tracy suffers from a broken heart and will never be the same again without him. Ed and Tracy were so genuinely in love with one another, and anyone could tell just by seeing them interact.  They had a once in a lifetime love, it was truly a storybook romance.  She doesn’t sleep very soundly and always wakes up throughout the nights crying. It's awful. She tries to deal with it, she always puts on a strong face, but I know she is hurting so deeply inside. She cries all the time and I cry with her.  Ed’s “daughter” misses him so very much and wishes that he would have been alive to see her beautiful baby girl Arya. Ed was sooo excited to become a grandfather!  Life just isn’t the same for the ENTIRE family and the significant number of friends that surrounded Ed & Tracy each day, we are all left with a huge gaping hole in our hearts and life without our beloved Ed.” – Noel & Mike Lair

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Final Thoughts & Conclusion:

I will fight until I die for justice for my husband and the million or so others killed by the COVID Protocols.  And when I die, I will ensure that our children continue this fight. The government, organizations, big Pharma, doctors, hospital administrators and anyone that had a hand in the murder of my husband and all the others should be held accountable and be forced to pay for their intended negligent actions.