My mom, Lilly Bochman, passed away at Community Medical Center on October 21, 2021. Her death certificate lists Cardiac Arrest, Pneumonia, and Covid 19 as the cause of death.

I believe she was a victim of the one size fits all hospital policy for Covid 19. That one size fits all protocol was Remdesivir and intubation. The following is her story put together from notes I took on a daily basis; text messages; and conversations she had with myself and other family members.

Sunday, October 3, 2021 ( 18 days to live)

My mom got out of bed early Sunday morning and fainted. My family called 911 and she was taken via ambulance to Community Medical Center in Toms River, NJ. She was admitted to the ICU and left isolated from physical family contact for the next 11 days. Our only option to see or talk to her was via video call. Our only means of getting information about her care was the countless calls I made in an attempt to get a doctor or nurse on the phone.

It was extremely difficult to get anyone on the phone to give me information but eventually I was able to get a nurse who told me that my mom had blood clots in her legs, pneumonia and that her oxygen levels were fluctuating. She was sent for a CT scan and started on Remdesivir, to my knowledge, without informed consent.

Tuesday, October 5, 2021( 16 days to live)

Mom was put on CPAP for the first time.

Wednesday, October 6, 2021 ( 15 days to live)

Asked for Ivermectin and was refused. Asked for vitamin D and was refused.

Text from mom “He told me the stuff they are giving me is better” – which is referring to the remdesivir given to her… Nurse alleged that is was better than the ivermectin or vitamin D she was asking for.

Friday, October 8, 2021 ( 13 days to live)

Was told that mom had a good night with oxygen. Did not use CPAP.

Chest X-ray

Received a text from mom “I miss you all, very depressing not being able to see anybody”

Saturday, October 9, 2021 ( 12 days to live)

The X-ray results showed multilobal pneumonia and possible fluid and pneumonia.

Sunday, October 10, 2021 ( 11 days to live)

My mom texted me saying that her oxygen was good but was still using the CPAP. She was taking Xanax and melatonin to help her sleep. She also said that they did an ultrasound of her legs to check for blood clots.

Monday, October 11; 2021 ( 10 days to live)

Spoke to nurse Breanne. She said mom was receiving 100% oxygen flow, 60 L. She said it could be quite some time on oxygen,

I asked what next steps were because she didn’t have a bowel movement in a week. I was told few meds, complications can arise from not having a bowel movement in a week but that she was passing gas and there could be a bowel obstruction.

Given blood thinners for blood clots in legs and told that they’ll disintegrate and help no new clots to form.

On BiPap in low 90’s. Nasal cannula, 88,89,90.

Still Covid positive, still has pneumonia, still on antibiotics

Tuesday, October 12, 2021 ( 9 days to live)

My mom texted me and said that 2 female doctors told her that they were going to call me to discuss some things with me. I spoke to nurse Brianne and she said she didn’t show anything about doctors trying to call me.

Wednesday, October 13, 2021 ( 8 days to live)

I revived the following information from Dr. Poco.

Mom not doing great, critically ill, slow progression to no progress. VERY ASYMPTOMATIC, i.e. not showing any physical/emotional signs of decline even though tests were showing that.

CPAP for more support, BiPap at night. Nasal cannula during the day. Barely touching the 80’s (low 80’s). “happy hypoxic”.

Blood clots provoked from sitting, blood thinners given to prevent ne clots, 6 month treatment. Dr. Kasalva told my mom that she was anemic.

Thursday, October 14, 2021 ( 7 days to live) Treating mom for possible pulmonary embolism. Dr. Kasalva told me my options for my mom.

We decided to have a vent put in.

After the vent procedure the Dr. came out and told me that she had a pneumothorax and that they needed to put in a chest tube.

Then I was told that they tried to insert the chest tube under the armpit and ended up not being able to because of too much tissue, so they went in through her chest. Day later my mom was visibly bruised in the area they attempted to put the tube in.

They asked me about a neck catheter and I approved.

I was told by nurse Jon that sometimes installing the tube for a vent can puncture a lung and cause a pneumothorax.

He said that the mass of air going into the lungs after lungs suffer hardening from Covid can cause them to be less elastic and react to the burst of air from the vent negatively.

Friday, October 15,2021 ( 6 days to live)

Day 1 on ventilator

Nurse Jon said that mom’s blood pressure was very low so lighter sedation was necessary. Mom was pulling at the tube in her throat so they had to restrain her hands and pulling at tube again even after being restrained.

Blood pressure low so was told they were switching her meds to try something different. Asked Jon about pneumothorax and he said her lung expanded and that was good.

8:57 pm got a call from nurse Carly asking permission to give my mom a blood transfusion. Hemoglobin dropped from 10.0 at 2 pm to 8.1 at 8 pm. Was told normal is between 12-16 and critical low was 6.5.

Stopping heparin. Getting a stool sample to check for blood.

I asked nurse Jon why she was bleeding and he said that it may be from the chest tube.

Saturday, October 16, 2021 ( 5 days to live) Nurse Russ on duty

Hemoglobin went up to 10.

Doing an ultra sound to check on pneumothorax. Nurse Russ told me that sometimes the pneumothorax can get bigger on a vent because of the pressure the ventilator puts on the chest. Doing a CT scan on her abdomen, lungs, and chest to check for internal bleeding.

Now on 2 blood pressure mediations, Levophed and Vasopressin. On a liter of IV fluids.

Mediocre sedation.

1:45 pm nurse Russ Catheter inserted for urine

Inserted an arterial line for blood pressure because it’s more accurate. Blood pressure meds went from 45 micrograms to 30 micrograms.

Blood pressure was 111/56 when I got there.

Potassium levels are up to 5.9. Normal should be 3.5 -5. I was told that it could be from kidney failure.

For potassium they are giving her calcium gluconate, insulin and dextrose D50, potassium sodium zirconium cyclosiliate AKA Lokelma.

Giving brand new antibiotics because she had a slight fever and was told that if she has an infection somewhere these 2 strong antibiotics will help. 1 gram Vancomycin and Meropenem. Lactated ringers, Saline.

Zinc.

Multi-vitamin. Levothyroxine-thyroid.

Pantoprazole-prevents ulcers-GERD Preceded-sedation.

Fentanyl-pain

Sunday, October 17, 2021 ( 4 days to live) 6:50 am nurse Arlene phone call

Mom was agitated last night. Still on vent.

Blood pressure meds lowered from 40 mics 18 mics. Blood pressure is 170; they want it between 110-120 Catheter for urine. Had to drain bladder.

Sedation still the same.

Monday, October 18, 2021 ( 3 days to live)

Had a meeting with a doctor and an attending doctor (on training)

Was told my mom isn’t getting any better that we have the option to pull the plug. We as a family decided that wasn’t an option.

Thursday, October 21, 2021 ( the last day)

5:18 am I received a phone call saying that my mom’s blood pressure was dangerously low and we should come quickly.

The morning of her passing, we were allowed into my mom’s room.

We were given personal protective equipment like the nurses and doctors had been using for the past 18 days and entered her room. She was at the end stages of her life; sedated, intubated, unable to communicate, and awaiting death.

I will never know if she knew we were there or heard me tell her that I loved her.

If only the hospital staff had given me and my family the personal protective equipment to wear when she first went in the hospital then we could have given my mom some encouraging words. I could have sung her favorite songs or just held her hand.

She passed away at 6:33 am